Plastic Little: The Adventures of Captain Tita

No one expects porn to have good production values, but this pseudo-hentai, Plastic Little: The Adventures of Captain Tita, is roughly the rock bottom of the anime food chain and provides poor quality in amounts completely out of proportion to its attempts at titillation. Cliche, stilted, poorly animated, and poorly dubbed in both English and Japanese, I can’t imagine why this anime exists. It’s almost hilariously bad. It’s the embodiment of everything that an anime shouldn’t be. The thumbnail above with the two guys in it? Add three-frames-a-second lip flaps and some mumbled, meaningless dialog, and you have five minutes of the show right there!

Why are the production values of this show are so bad? It’s fairly easy to see – the entire budget for the show went into a bath sequence featuring the epynonymous Captain Tita and her forgettable new friend, Elise. Elise is the daughter of a scientist that the military is trying to capture because she has the password to a doomsday device that her father developed and they now want to use. Tita and her crew of the Cha Cha Maru decide that, rather than getting on the phone and letting the government know that a coup is on the brew, they’ll just deactivate said weapon themselves.

My opinion – if you want to see drawn breasts and nipples in all their glory -- look at Newgrounds instead. There is virtually no reason whatsoever to watch this show from beginning to end. Its greatest virtue by far is that it is, mercifully, short.